Harry Potter and the Crimson Sanctuary
by Sefi
Summary: The 6th Harry Potter Book. Harry falls into a deep depression and becomes a cutter. When Ginny finds out, things begin to run wild. Dementors attacking the school and the new Defense teacher is proving to charming and entrancing to Harry. Please Review!
1. Slow Rotting Rat

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the new ones I have created. Please do no sue!  
  
Author's Note: Hey this is my first Harry Potter Fan fiction . . . So be nice please and tell me what you think I hope you like my recreation of the 6th book. Well, also, it's 2:15 in the morning and I'm dead tired as I write this too. Lmfao.  
  
Slow Rotting Rat:  
  
Harry stared blankly at the wall feeling distressed and lost. His mind was going numb. None of his friends seemed to be able to help him about the emptiness inside him. They were trying everything to help him, but his mind didn't seem to want to understand them. Sirius was all that he thought about. The one person that was family to him was gone and it was tearing him apart.   
  
Sleep never came easily to him anymore. Every time he slept he had nightmares of when his Godfather died. He tossed and turned, trying everything to get comfy and nothing worked. It was as if Harry was going to just rot away.   
  
The Dursleys started to notice that something was terribly wrong with him. Though they would never admit that they might be the slightest bit interested in him or feeling worried about him. But they knew. Knew that he was really downhearted. Even Dudley seemed less into poking fun at him and seemed to know that if he did, he would be lying flat on his back within minutes.   
  
Harry sighed heavily as he heard his name being screamed up the stairs. He stood up and ran a hand through his messy hair. Staring into the mirror he could see that he was looking more and more like his father everyday and the resemblance was starting to scare him. It seemed that everyday he had to look at his dead father in a mirror. Which didn't make Harry feel any better about himself.  
  
Running down the stairs he ran into Dudley. Dudley seemed ready to open his mouth, but Harry glared darkly at him and growled under his breath. Without a word, Dudley took his bulky, fat self and moved to the seat in front of the television. Aunt Petunia soon strutted out into the hallway to find Harry. She was wearing a ridiculous suit that made her look like a thin mint.  
  
"Get in there right now! Lazy bum. You should be up already. Now get to making our breakfast." Aunt Petunia snarled and stalked off into the kitchen where surely Uncle Vernon was reading the paper.  
  
Harry rubbed his eyes vigorously as he tried not to run into any walls as he made his way into the kitchen. His body was aching all over from staying up so late every night. This was proving difficult for him to do his chores too that the Dursleys seemed to have piled on since Moody had that talk with them at the end of the year. Harry was so tempted to complain to Moody that they were giving him hell, but he didn't want to be a burden when he knew they were so busy. For they called every night to check on him practically and he always said he was fine.  
  
Shuffling into the kitchen, Harry moved to the dishes and began to wash them, forgetting about the breakfast altogether. Scrub, scrub, scrub. He tuned out Aunt Petunia chatting with Uncle Vernon about the weather. Scrub, scrub, scrub. He didn't even mind that Dudley was snorting like a pig at the funny program on the television either. Scrub, scrub, scrub. All he thought of was what he had been thinking all summer. The people who were now just believing in his story. Though it made him happy it pissed him off. They all should have believed in him sooner and now he was getting sympathetic looks when he didn't want them anymore. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die slowly. Just to disappear.   
  
Another thought that Harry hated himself for was that he almost wished Voldemort had picked Neville. This was killing Harry. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't lie to himself for he hated his life. Hated it and he would rather be any other person. He'd gladly give up his life for Ron's, Hermione's . . . or even his Godfather's right now. Harry would rather be dead like his Godfather than in his own shoes. If only he . . .   
  
"BOY!" Harry jumped at the scream and the metal pan he was scouring flew into the air. In a downpour of water, the pot fell flat on his messy haired head with an extremely painful bang. Water splashed all over the white tiled floor and Aunt Petunia screamed bloody murder. Uncle Vernon stood up, knocking over the wooden chair, "LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, RUDDY USELESS IDIOT!" Uncle Vernon's round face grew viscously bright red and he began to rage, "You have done nothing right lately!! Lazing about like you own the place! No wonder you have no friends! You're a lowlife vermin, that's what you are! Now if you don't shape up . . . well . . . we'll just have to make you work until you bleed!"  
  
Harry lifted the pot covering his eyes and stared through his wet eyelashes at Uncle Vernon's tomato face. Rage was building up inside Harry, but he managed to keep it down. Uncle Vernon was nothing to him and Harry didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered anymore to him. At least not the worthless Dursleys and he figured that being bloody for a while would not hurt him. He would take his chances with Uncle Vernon until Vernon ballooned.   
  
"Now, clean up this water!" Aunt Petunia yelled, "And where's the ruddy breakfast?"  
  
Dudley suddenly entered the kitchen and grinned at Harry, "Has the rat mutated into a water rat?"  
  
Harry growled under his breath and placed the pot on the counter, his feet squishing beneath him. His body was soaked and he hated it. The water seeped through his clothes and made him shiver. Soap covered his shoulders and he knew he looked pathetic. He probably deserved being called a water rat. At this point in his life, Harry cared less what people called him. It was probably true in some sense.  
  
Aunt Petunia's eyes turned downward, "Why are you so quiet?! You usually put up more of an argument! I don't like this. You're probably cooked up some evil plan! Clean up this water and go to you room you dirty scrub."  
  
"We don't want to see you for the remainder of the day." Uncle Vernon hissed at Harry.  
  
Harry sighed, "Yeah, whatever." He grabbed a towel and bent down on his knees to dry up the water. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon turned to make their own breakfast, but Dudley stood above Harry. Dudley stared down at Harry with mingled laughter shining in his eyes and a fat beef jerky hanging from his fleshly, plump, pink lips. With a smile, Dudley hacked up a large pile of saliva in his mouth and spit on the floor next to Harry's foot. "Don't forget to clean that up either." Harry glared up at Dudley and bared his teeth, telling himself to relax for it was just spit.   
  
An hour later Harry marched up the stairs, wet, hungry, and in pain. His head was near bursting and his eyes were sore. The scar on his forehead burned, but Harry hardly worried about it anymore. He didn't care. Not that he cared for much of anything lately. Nothing mattered.  
  
In his room he ripped off his wet clothes quickly and changed into the large baggy clothes that once belonged to Dudley long ago. He shook his head like a dog to shake off the water and he ran a hand through his wet hair. He dried his round black glasses on his shirt and fell back onto his bed. Only lying there for mere minutes he heard Hedwig float in from outside. She landed with a thud on Harry's dresser with a rat in her mouth and two letters and a daily prophet tied to her leg.   
  
"Hedwig, bring it here." Harry whispered, unable to move with the pain in his legs. Hedwig hooted and ruffled her wings. She swallowed the rat and flew to Harry's side. Harry untied the letters and paper. With a pet on the head by Harry, Hedwig took off and flew toward her cage, drinking the water in its bowl. Harry ripped open the two letters quickly and read them. A few moments later he threw them onto the floor and rolled his eyes. They were both from Ron and Hermione telling him how great their summers were going. It didn't help him to hear their happy stories about their summers. As a matter of fact he would have rather them not write him.  
  
Harry flipped through the paper too. All he found were boring articles how the ministry was trying everything in their power to stop Voldemort. Harry growled deeply, "Did they really think that they were going to stop him if they feared his bloody name?!" He chucked the paper at the wall and sat up quickly as one of the pages sliced across his finger. He bit his lip at the slight pain and grabbed his finger as red blood slid down his hand. "Damn." He whispered. Suddenly, he let go of his finger and watched the blood slowly. It swerved in and out of the lines in his palm and down to his wrist. It made him feel kind of good for a moment. Then promptly he wrapped his finger in his shirt to stop it from bleeding. What was he thinking? That didn't feel good. It hurt, right? Harry shut his eyes tightly and leaned back into his pillows, falling into a deep sleep.  
  
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Well, how did you like it? I hope you did . It would make me very happy. Well, I'll try to update as soon as possible too. I don't know when that will be though haha. Hopefully soon. Let's just pray that Harry doesn't find out he's a cutter or something. That would suck. 


	2. Midnight Stroll

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the new ones I have created. Please do not sue!

Author's Note: Well, finally started the second chapter. I hope you all love this version of the 6th book so far and if not, I'm sorry if I ruined it for you, but I want to have my own version big smile okay, well enjoy!

Midnight Stroll:

__

Harry moved swiftly through the small circular room. His thoughts were not his own and everything around him seemed blurred and distant. At once he knew that he was not in his own body. It had to be Voldemort's body. He knew no one other then Voldemort that felt the anger that was coursing through Harry right now. Harry didn't resist trying to throw him off again, but watched as he stepped forward, into a bright lighted him.

The air was cold and a rancid smell filled his nose. He smirked delightfully and a cold laugh burst through his mouth as he stared at a wall near the end of the room.

Harry bolted up from his sleep, horror and disgust filling every inch of his body. He gasped deeply as his breath stopped short. The wall had been covered in bodies. Horrible dead bodies. Every person Voldemort and his Death Eaters had ever killed had been pinned to that wall. And in the middle were Harry's own parents, staked there as if they were not worth a penny. Then next to them was . . . Sirius.

Harry retched over the side of his bed and the vomit splattered to the floor. He couldn't take this. He placed his hand over his mouth and shut his eyes, trying to lull his breathing. That dream meant nothing. Harry had to remain calm, but he suddenly stood up and walked to his door. His movements were slow and dizzy, but he managed to walk from his room into the bathroom.__

Harry bent double over the sink and let his hair fall around his face. Disgust was still swimming through him and he breathed in and out slowly. He turned on the sink and grabbed a washcloth, soaking it in water and wiping his face with the cool cloth. "What was that?" He whispered to himself and threw the cloth on the floor. He turned to leave when he saw that the blood from last night was still caked on his hand. Harry groaned in sickness and rapidly washed his hand, wrapping a band aid around his finger. Stumbling back to his room, Harry bent down and cleaned up the vomit beside his bed with a towel while wishing dearly he could use magic to do it.

An hour later, Harry sat onto his bed and looked around his room. Hedwig was gone and it was really late at night. Only the soft wind could be heard outside. At this moment, Harry remembered that his O.W.L.s would come sometime soon and he really was not looking forward to them. He hoped that he at least did half-way decent on them.

His thoughts soon wondered and he lifted himself from his bed. Harry walked from his room and down the stairs. He came face to face with the door leading outside and he stared at it. That's what he wanted to do. Go for a walk. Now why shouldn't he be able to? Besides Tonks telling him not to go outside at night for the dementors were still on the prowl. But Harry figured he knew how to get rid of them. As long as he had his wand he would be alright.

So, with a last glimpse to see if the Dursleys had awakened, Harry stepped out the door. The cold air felt wonderful on his face and he smiled for the first time in what seemed like ages. He strolled down the street and only gazed around him. It had been a long while since he even dared to walk down these streets and he remembered a very confusing letter that Ron and Hermione had sent him together.

Harry,

Hope you're doing fine. We're doing swell here. Summer's going really slow. Hermione is frantic to get her O.W.L.s. She's going to lose all of her hair if she doesn't quit worrying soon. Shut–up Ron. Anyway, Harry, I'm not going to lose my hair. I bet Ron is more worried. But be sure to write us how you did. Unless we find a way to get you here before then, mind her. Quiet Ron. We've heard news that the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher has been chosen. I wonder who it will be. I hope he or she is as good as Lupin was. By the way, Lupin is doing fine. He misses Sirius like the rest of us do. I know it must be hard on you the most though. We're really sorry. Worried 'bout you too and Hermione keeps saying how she will be very upset if you do anything stupid. So, just don't do anything stupid. Hermione will be crabbing all day if you do. Ron, stop! I trust you Harry, don't worry. Though you do have a tendency of doing things on an impulse, but I trust you. So, you know what? It's quite funny at the Order of the Phoenix. Yes, Dumbledore feels that we should keep the Order going in case the Ministry feels ready to stop believing. The cleaning is finally all set in the old house. Though we don't need to be as secretive anymore. The portrait of the old hag though is still is not gone. And the ruddy house elf is still here. Cut it out Ron, house elves deserve our support. So, that's about it though. The Order really is trying to do their best and they all send their regards, though they call you a lot we felt we should tell you.

Ron and Hermione

P.S. Snape is still with us . . . unfortunately. Ron!

Harry laughed aloud as he remembered that letter. It had confused him to death at you was writing and who wasn't. They were both trying their hardest to cheer Harry up after he had sent them a depressing letter about his crummy summer.

Harry's stomach churned suddenly as he remembered the nightmare and wondered whether or not he should tell his friends about it. He decided not to and to only tell them when he saw them. Harry doubted the nightmare was important.

As the clouds shifted away from the moon, Harry found himself at the park he spent so much time at last year. The slide glistened in the dark and the wind threw tiny piles of sand through the air. His eyes moved to the swings and he almost jumped. A girl about his age was sitting on one of the swings and staring at him with wide, confused eyes. The darkness made it hard for Harry to make out what she looked like, but he walked toward her out of curiosity. When he was standing in front of her, he ruffled his hair, "Um . . . hullo."

The girl blinked rapidly and looked around quickly. She appeared, surprised and unsure for a moment. "Er . . . hey."

She didn't seem to be in the mood to talk and Harry took up the swing next to her, "What are you doing outside so late?"

The girl brushed her waist-length, red hair behind her back and her eyebrows lowered, "I highly doubt it's any of your business. What are you doing?"

Harry was surprised at her tone and he grinned, "None of yours either." Silence fell between them and Harry watched her kick out her feet and begin to swing lightly. Her hair flew behind her and she looked forward as if determined not to look at Harry too much.

"So, what's your name?" Harry asked bluntly, trying to make some conversation.

The girl stopped swinging abruptly by digging her boots into the ground. Her head turned to face Harry and he saw that her face was very pretty and white as soft snow. She smiled and the smile seemed familiar to Harry. "It's Sara."

Harry smiled, "Nice to meet you. Mine's Harry." He held out his hand to shake, but she stared at it blankly.

"Um . . . I know." Sara whispered. Harry dropped his hand in disappointment, but he continued to try and talk with her.

"Well, so, do you live around here because I've never seen you here before?" Harry pressed on.

"No . . . I don't." Sara said quietly.

"Ah," Harry peered around him, not knowing what to say.

Sara suddenly stood up, "Look, I wasn't supposed to have met you here. I have to go." Before Harry could say a word, Sara vanished into the night. Harry's mouth fell open slightly at her disappearance into thin air. "She's not . . . a muggle?" Harry stood up quickly and backed away from the swings and ran all the way back to the Dursley's home. As he reached the door, he bent double and breathed in and out rapidly, out of breath from running. He then sat up and frowned. The lights were on downstairs and Harry groaned. He was dead. They knew he was up.

Harry opened the door to meet Uncle Vernon's evil eyes glaring down upon him menacingly. Aunt Petunia, in a gown and night cap, stood to his left and shook her head. Dudley stood behind them with a smug smile on his face saying mentally to Harry, "You're dead where you stand."

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN BOY?!" Uncle Vernon roared and Harry gulped.

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Author's Note: Well, that's the end of that. Poor Harry. Stupid Dursleys never give him a break. (Sad eyes) Did you like? Yea, I wanted to add a new character, so I added Sara. Besides being not a muggle and being quiet. Did you notice anything strange about the way she looked? Well, you'll find out I think in the next chapter or soon. Haha, well, buh-bye!!


	3. Wreckage of the Giants

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the news on I have created. Please do not sue!

Author's Note: Well, I'm now onto the 3rd chapter!! See, I'm pretty fast haha. So far I've got 3 reviews so I'm feeling pretty swell, though I'd like more I would have to say. Hope you like the story so far, yea I know we haven't gotten to far into Hogwarts, but I'm getting there, haha, actually, they're on the train in this chapter. So, grab some popcorn and sit down and read.

Wreckage of the Goblins:

Harry sighed as he watched the Dursleys drive away. Neither Hermione or Ron had come up with a way to bring him to their house. They had thousands of excuses, but Harry knew that someone most likely did not want him to come. Whether it be Dumbledore, Moody, Tonks, Lupin, Mundungus . . . Harry didn't know anymore. Someone probably wanted to keep him out of their hair or they felt he needed grieving time. He would rather grieve over at the Order than in the Dursley's house.

"Harry! Over here!" Hermione's crisp voice rang through the hot air.

Harry looked over toward the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Hermione and Ron were standing there with huge smiles on their faces. Mrs. and Mr. Weasley seemed to be fussing over something and Ginny stood nearby appearing rather flustered. A wide grin spread on Harry's face and he rushed over to meet his friends, dragging behind his suitcase and Hedwig in her cage.

As Harry grew near, Hermione ran to him and met him with an immense hug. Harry's eyes grew wide and Ron shook his head, smirking slightly. "It's so good to see you!" Hermione chimed brightly. She drew away and Harry stared at her. She seemed very different from when he last saw her. Her hair had grown very long, but was just as bouncy and wavy as always. Her eyes were tired and she bit her lip as she stared at Harry.

"You're okay, right? Were the Dursleys too horrible?" Hermione sounded genuinely worried and Harry shrugged.

"Yea, of course they were bad, but I'm fine." Harry watched as Ron ushered them over.

"Hullo, Harry." Ron said.

Ginny turned to Harry and groaned, "Make them stop."

"Stop what?" Harry asked.

Mrs. Weasley spun toward Harry and her face changed immediately to excitement, "Harry, dear. How have you been? They've been giving you food, right? You look kind of pale? Are you sick? How's been your summer. Are . . . ?" Ron cut her off with a groan.

"Mum, you're going to kill him. Give him some breathing room." Ron stammered out.

Mrs. Weasley's cheeks puffed up indignantly, but Harry laughed, "I'm fine, look, I'm here. Right?"

Mr. Weasley grinned, "Well, so you are."

Ron and Hermione smiled. Within ten minutes, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny found themselves on the train. They all moved down the long hall when Neville poked his head out of a compartment.

"Hey, guys! I've already got a compartment for us." Neville said, waving at them.

Harry stopped as he saw Neville and had to control his thoughts from saying, "It didn't have to be me."

Ginny gave Harry a shove from behind, "Keep going, Harry! Everyone's waiting." Harry stumbled forward and headed into the compartment, sitting down next to the window. Hermione sat across from him and Ron next to him. Ginny entered next and from behind, Luna Lovegood found her way in.

Everyone's eyes widened and Ron's mouth dropped open, "Blimey Luna? You're not reading the Quibbler . . . but the Prophet?!"

Luna smiled slightly and her eyes swiveled to Ron, "Well, it is following the latest news of You Know Who and father says that if I can help Harry in any way, I should do what I must." Luna flounced down upon the seat next to Ron and opened the Daily Prophet to the middle pages.

Harry sighed and Ron looked at him, "We've got to go make those Prefect rounds again. So, we'll be back soon, 'kay?" Ron saw Harry's bored look and he shook his head, "Sorry, but, it's not like I want to."

Hermione stood up, "Oh, Harry, we'll be back soon."

Harry nodded. He knew they would be going in and out every minute because they were Prefects. It happened last year and it would happen again. He turned to the window as they left and felt his life falling around him. Harry had forgotten that going back to Hogwarts meant seeing Neville and he had been trying so hard not to think about what Dumbledore said only a few months ago. _It may not have meant you at all. Sibyll's prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom . . ._ Harry hissed under his breath and felt anger rising in him. Why did it have to be him? Couldn't it have been Neville? Why . . .

Harry jumped as he heard Neville calling him, "Hey . . . Harry, do you want something from the cart?"

Harry turned around and stared at Neville. Studying Neville, Harry tried his hardest to soothe his anger. "Um, no." Harry heard the harshness in his voice and he breathed out sharply. Ginny looked at him and frowned, but turned to working on summer homework that she forgot to do.

Neville bought a few chocolate frogs and continued to eat them. Harry groaned and leaned against the window. Suddenly the door opened to the compartment. Harry figured it was Ron or Hermione and shut his eyes, pretending to be sound asleep.

"Hello everyone, I'm the new . . ." The soft, familiar voice stopped short, "Harry . . . ?"

Harry opened his eyes and sat up quickly as he saw who was standing in the door. "Sara?!"

In all her beauty, Sara stood in front of their compartment with her hand out, about to shake Neville's hand. As Neville reached for her hand she dropped it and stared wide-eyed at Harry. Her dark, bright, dyed red hair flowed down to her waist such as a waterfall over a cliff and her dark green eyes sparkled brilliantly. She wore a midnight black cloak with dark green cargos underneath and a black, tight tee. Sara's full pink lips parted as she opened them to speak, but then shut them. Her face was thin and small with rosy pink cheeks. The hair tucked behind her ears showed five small hoop earrings crawling up her ears and two cartilage earrings on both her upper ears. The most intriguing part of her was the silver eyeliner beneath her eyes that shinned spectacularly.

Harry's mouth dropped open and he cocked his head, confused. Sara backed up into the hall, "What . . . ?"

Neville smiled, "Oh yea, everyone's usually surprised to see Harry Potter here. You must be new though. He's just so popular and all."

Harry frowned at Neville, but Ginny looked from Harry to Sara. Luna stuck her nose from out behind the paper, "Well, it's not that, Neville. They've met before."

Ginny nodded, "Yea, how else would Harry know her name."

"Well, I met her near the Dursleys. I didn't know she went to Hogwarts." Harry said with wonder.

Sara shook her head, "I don't technically . . ." Before she could finish, the lights flashed off in the train.

"What the . . . ?!" The train screeched to a halt. Harry's head slammed into the window and Ginny fell sideways next to him. Neville's head smashed backwards and he slumped over in his seat and Luna's paper went flying, sending her forward and falling off the seat. Sara, on the other hand, had been standing and she fell into the compartment, landing on top of Harry's lap.

Shouts and yells were heard outside and confusion hung through the air. Suddenly people began to scream and Harry moaned as the screechy sound filled his ears. Sara sat up and blushed as she saw where she fell, but immediately stood up and appeared alert.

The train jerked sideways suddenly and Sara scooted to the window, peering out. Her eyes grew wide, "Giants. They're attacking the train!"

Harry rubbed his head and began to compute what Sara had said. "Wait . . ." Harry thought for a moment and then as it sank into him he jolted up, "What?!"

Sara turned toward him, "Come with me. We need to get you off the train." Sara grabbed his hand and moved through the crowd of screaming kids. Lights flashed on and off in the dark train and it swayed dangerously. Harry saw flashes of lights out the window.

The knock on the head was making Harry dizzy and confused. He felt Sara pulling him along the way, but he barely cared and he didn't wonder why until they made it to the front of the train by the door.

"Where are you taking me?" Harry managed to mumble thickly.

Sara turned to face him and she placed her hands on his shoulders, "Look, I was told to watch out for you and if any danger comes near the train, well, I was to get you off and run for it. The giants will stop attacking if you're not here. Now, come on!"

Harry caught her words numbly as she pulled him off the train. He raised the hand that Sara wasn't hanging onto up to his head and felt a bloody gash where his head hit the window. The gravel skid beneath their feet as Sara ran as fast as she could toward the end of the train. Every compartment passed by them in a flash. Adults behind them were trying to stun the giants, but with huge roars the giants smashed and ripped apart the area around them.

Sara unexpectedly screamed and fell backwards, making Harry stumble back where he grew even more dizzy. Everything around him swam dangerously and he grabbed his head, trying to make everything stop swirling. Footsteps of people running came from behind and everyone seemed to be screaming for him to move quickly.

Harry stood where he was trying to figure out what was going on. "Get out of the way!" A man screamed from behind somewhere and Harry dived just in time. His head hit the gravel and he cringed. A terrifying scream ripped through the air and Harry managed to open his eyes to see a dark green giant staring down upon him, a smug smile on its face. Harry tried to reach for his wand when Sara sprang in front of him, "Stay down, Harry!" Her wand was in her outstretched hands and Harry had no trouble staying on the ground. "Kill it!" Someone shouted from somewhere and Harry opened his mouth, "Don-"

Sara raised her wand as the thing began to bring down its hand, "Avada Kadavra!" A burst of green light filled the air and Harry screamed as he saw the light, "NO!" He tried to raise himself up, but collapsed trying. Sara turned to him and her eyes shined down upon him. Harry knew he had seen those eyes somewhere before. She stared blankly at him, almost sadly, but spun around as another giant began to rush over as the other fell. Harry's eyes widened and his breath came quick, "Riddle . . . ?" Harry's head spun and his vision swayed even though he was only lying down. As he felt his eyes shut he saw a burst of black feathery wings and then everything went dark.

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Author's Note: Well, I think that is my longest chapter so far and probably the most confusing of them all. Hope it filled you with suspense for the next chapter. I'm probably going to start that tonight too. So, I might finish it really soon. Buh-bye for now. And one question: Who did you think Sara is?


	4. Miss Pariah

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the news on I have created. Please do not sue!

Author's Note: Well it's like 3 in the morning and I'm writing this chapter. So please excuse the fact that it's a little short and may have a few errors haha. I'm dead tired and I'm watching Southpark too. :P It's fucking hilarious. This chapter explains a little bit about a few things that have been happening so far, so hope you like it.

Miss Pariah:

Harry groaned and turned over, immense pain shooting through his head. A blinding light was yelling at him to open his eyes and he did. His vision was blurry and he reached out in front of him, grabbing his round glasses off the nightstand. He saw that he was in the nurses at Hogwarts. The familiar smell of the school filled his nostrils and he sat up.

"Harry!" Hermione's voice filled his ear and she rushed to his side from a chair nearby. "You're awake!"

Harry blinked rapidly at her and rubbed his eyes. Pain filled his right shoulder and he winced slightly, "Um, hey."

Ron stood up and walked over too, grinning, "You're slacking on us, Harry. You woke up a day later than we hoped."

Harry cracked a smirk and shook his head, "What happened?"

Hermione's smile fell, "We hoped you would be able to tell us that. Ron and I were near the front of the train when it happened. I was thrown onto the floor and Ron fell hard on some glass. His arm was sliced open, but he recovered quickly. I don't know really. I heard from Dumbledore that they had tried to get you off the train and away, but you had hit the window when the train halted. Then you passed out when a giant attacked outside. That's all I know. I don't even know how you were saved. Dumbledore wouldn't say anything until he told you what happened. More people were injured besides you, but luckily no one was killed. Look around you. There's quite a few beds taken up. It's mostly due to the fact that people panicked, but it's sad."

"Yea, Dean Thomas's arm broke. It was almost crushed when the wall next to him fell in and his arm was caught beneath it. He's really mad about it." Ron added, looking rather excited almost.

Harry nodded, "What happened to the giants?"

Hermione sighed and shrugged, "We don't know. No one really knows. Dumbledore hasn't broken the news. Though the Daily Prophet will probably have a say in it before Dumbledore. Dumbledore is furious about the attack."

Ron nodded, "Blimey, the start-of-term feast didn't even happen! It was bloody canceled and the first years were sorted else where."

Harry's eyes widened, "What?! Because of all this?"

Before Hermione could answer, Madam Pomfrey entered and saw that Harry was awake. She moved swiftly to his bedside with her nurse gown swishing widely.

"Harry, Dumbledore wished for me to let him know when you woke. He wants to speak with you, _alone_." She eyed Hermione and Ron as she said alone. They both sighed and stood up.

"Well, see ya later." Ron said with less enthusiasm and Hermione nodded. They both left hurriedly and Dumbledore walked in after them. He looked tired and the spark in his eyes seemed to have flickered out since last year. Harry looked away as Dumbledore approached him. He could barely stand being in the same room as Dumbledore. Sirius was dead because of him and Harry was lonelier than ever now. Harry gritted his teeth as Dumbledore opened his mouth, "I see you are still angry with me, but you have good reasons to be. It has been awhile."

Harry nodded, "Yea."

Dumbledore conjured up a chair from the air and sat in it, folding his hands neatly in his lap. He tossed his long white beard behind his back and stared at Harry, who was not looking at him. "I am terribly sorry Harry. It was I who made you stay with the Dursleys this summer. I was afraid something like this would happen. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded numbly as he bit his lip from the hot fiery anger that was burning inside him. "Yea, I figured." Harry said resentfully.

Dumbledore sighed tiredly, "Yes, well, I did not even imagine the giants would attack the train. It was not in my knowledge that they had even made a pact with Voldemort yet. I did try to get you away from the train though." Harry rolled his eyes and Dumbledore continued, "I wanted to talk with you to explain the reason why you met Miss Pariah near the Dursleys."

Harry frowned, "What? Miss Pariah?"

"Yes, Miss Sara Pariah. She was very cross that she was seen by you for she promised me she would not be. It took a lot to get her not to feel too bad about it. Ah, Sara is a bright young girl, clever and brave. To be honest. I sent her to watch over you Harry."

Harry faced Dumbledore with a dark glare, "You sent someone else to look after me!" Harry was even angrier now. Pretty Sara had only been another spy!

Dumbledore looked ashamed almost, "Mrs. Figg I figured was getting too old for the job and Mundungus . . . You know abut him. So I sent Sara. She was willing to go and she is the only other person I would trust with that job."

Harry was confused. She could not possibly be any older than he was. Dumbledore noticed his confused expression, "Yes, I know. Sara is only sixteen, but she is a worthy auror."

Harry's eyes widened, "WHAT?!"

Dumbledore merely smiled, "Yes, Harry, Sara is an auror. Trained since she was about five. She is almost better than any auror." Dumbledore sighed, "She is a known half-animagus. It's when the person's body did not take to the potion as well as it is supposed to, but it is another reason why I sent her to watch over you. She hated to invade your privacy though and she really only kept watch around the house area."

Harry felt heated and pain was bursting in his shoulder. His bandaged arms were hurting and this information was hurting him. "But . . ." Harry stopped and didn't finish what he was saying. He swore that someone had used deadly Unforgivable Curse. Avada Kadavra. "Dumbledore . . . there was a green light . . ."

Dumbledore's eyes widened and he looked at the floor, "We are dealing with that. Sara is smart, but she is rash. She used it to kill one of the giants. I had wished that no one to be killed, but now the giants are madder than ever. I have talked with Sara and she is trying to stay clear of the public, but the Daily Prophet will most likely hear the story sooner or later. Ah, well, I must be off. And I don't know if you already know, but Sara is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." Dumbledore stood up and the chair disappeared. He threaded out of the nurses room carefully and Harry leaned back against his pillows, hating his life more now.

Harry almost felt like his heart had been torn down the middle. He thought that maybe he could like Sara like he liked Cho, but now . . . he didn't know. Harry grimaced and found himself caring less and less about himself. He sank as far as possible into his pillows and shut his eyes, falling deep into sleep.

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Author's Note: It isn't the most exciting chapter, but well I'm tired :P I'm going to probably write the next chapter tomorrow night, but I leaving for Disney World with my marching band on Wednesday and will not be coming back until Monday so I don't know when I'll be able to update during that time, so sorry. But that's not for a few days, so I'll be able to write a few more chapters haha


	5. The Red Blood

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the news on I have created. Please do not sue!

Author's Notes: This proves I have no life, haha, because I'm on the computer again. Computers suck. They're so addictive and then you just sit there bored not knowing what to do, but you don't want to get off because you just don't. Stupid bloody comps. Oh well, anyway, here's the fifth chapter.

The Red Blood:

_Harry's head felt thick and heavy as he looked around. Not again . . . No. He groaned, but suddenly realized that he was in his own body. His body stumbled forward into the dark and he reached out in front of him. He felt drowsy and his movements were uncoordinated._

A sharp pain suddenly filled his side and he fell against a cold wall, dripping in sweat. He grabbed his side and a sticky wet substance slimed onto his hand. His eyes widened and he brought his hand to his face. Blood covered his entire arm, it dripped from a slit in his wrist and it swam out of a gash in his side. Harry stepped back feeling disgusted and he grabbed his head. The room moved around him and he felt himself falling toward the ground.

Harry bolted up from his bed as his head had hit the floor in the dream. "What was that?" He whispered to himself. He looked around to see Ron, Seamus, and Dean sleeping in their beds snuggly. Harry was released from the nurses a few days ago and ever since then he has not been feeling well at all. His shoulder was killing him, it hurt badly and it was even effecting his Quidditch, not to Angelina's amusement. Ron and Hermione kept talking about their O.W.L scores too which Harry really did not want to talk about. Not that he had done poorly. He remembered the day he received his O.W.L.s in the mail. It had been one of the more happier days of his summer.

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Potions: O

Transfiguration: E

Charms: O

Astrology: A

Herbology: A

Care of Magical Creatures: O

Divination: E

History of Magic: E

Harry had no idea how he managed even four O.W.L.s, but he was more surprised he received one in potions even if he had spent most of his time studying only potions. He was sure Snape would be really angry that Harry could go for the N.E.W.T. Of course Hermione managed to receive O.W.L.s in almost everyone of her subjects and they ones she didn't, well, let's just say she wouldn't stop complaining for days. Ron did only a little worse than Harry himself and was really proud.

Harry sat up and rubbed his head, trying not to dwell on every weird dream he had been having since summer started. His sixth year of school was going horrible. Snape had already yelled at him and Sara . . . Harry didn't know what to think. He mostly tried his hardest to stay quiet in her class and he hadn't spoken to her since the train.

Harry stood quickly and stared at a silver knife near his bedside. Ron had taken it to cut off tags on his new robes that Mrs. Weasley had finally bought him instead of hand-me-downs. Both Ron and Harry figured that she bought them because she no longer had Percy to buy them for. Percy was still acting like a prick and the Weasleys could not stand to hear about him.

Harry picked up the long knife and watched the moon shine against it. He moved to the bathroom and sat on a toilet seat in the stall. Tossing the knife in the air, Harry caught the blade between his fingers. It was light and the shining knife seemed tempting to Harry. He remembered how his cut finger at home had felt like a break from everything. Like a drug ridding pain. Morphine almost. The blood was warm and it had amazed him.

Why shouldn't he do it? Everyone was leaving him. Sirius was all he had left and he was gone. Even if the pain would only be gone for a minute, it would be worth it, right? Everything would cease to exist. Maybe it was escaping from reality, but Harry didn't care. He didn't care about anything. Nothing mattered. Everything in the world could die and well, Harry wouldn't care. He wished he was someone else. Anyone else and if he couldn't, might as well try to make his life a little better.

Harry ran the smooth edge of the blade down his wrist. One quick slice and it would be over. Tilting the blade carefully, Harry slid it down his wrist. A pricking pain made him wince and he bit his lip. At first a tiny sharp sting filled his wrist, but then as the blood bubbled up, it went away. His mind cleared and he watched the blood slide down his arm.

The door clicked open outside his stall and Harry jumped. "Har', is tha' choo?" Ron's sleepy voice sounded through the echoing bathroom and Harry looked around, his eyes filled with panic.

"Um . . . Yea." Harry muttered, snatching a wad of toilet paper. He wiped it across the blood running down his hand and his mouth fell open as the cut still bled.

"Almost don'?" Ron asked, yawning lightly.

"Erm . . . Yea, hang on." Harry shoved the toilet paper in the toilet and covered his arm with his pajama sleeve, hiding the knife on a high window sill near the ceiling. He opened the stall door slowly and slid out.

Ron frowned at him, his head nodding where he stood, "You alright? You look pale?"

Harry smiled awkwardly, "Er, yea, I'm fine. The bathroom is all yours." Ron scuttled into the bathroom and Harry moved to the sink, switching it on hurriedly. Rolling up his sleeve, Harry drowned his bleeding wrist in water, turning the clear water a dark red. A sharp pang sprang through his whole arm as the water washed the deep cut, but the blood would not stop and Ron was already flushing the toilet. The door to the stall opened and Harry flicked off the water, shoving his arm up his sleeve again.

Ron stepped out and he frowned, "Um, what's with your sleeve? It's dripping wet?"

"Oh," Harry grinned, "Yea, forgot to roll up my sleeves I'm so tired." He laughed lightly and Ron shook his head with laughter.

"Whatever." Ron washed his hands and left. Harry sighed with relief and went back to cleaning up the blood.

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Author's Note: Too tired to write more and I have to get up early and pack for Disney World. So, sorry if I left you off in like and "OMG, I want more." But I don't think I'll be writing anymore until Monday or Tuesday, sorry folks. Bye for now my lovely readers. =(


	6. Urge to Kill

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the news on I have created. Please do not sue!

Author's Notes: Hullo, I just got back from disney world. It was so bloody awesome. . I went on tower of terror, I laughed the whole ride haha. I thought it was so much fun. Oh hey, if you love reading stories, plz check out my stories at fan press, the address is in my profile, read my story, Until the Judgment of Death and review, I would so appreciate it. And if you have any ideas on how to publish it, I would love to hear them. I want to get it published well, I hope you enjoy this next chapter, toodles!

Urge to Kill:

Harry picked at his breakfast with his spoon. Hermione and Ron sat bickering over their new schedules and Ginny watched Harry with her head slightly cocked. She knew something was bothering Harry, even if Hermione and Ron didn't notice.

"Harry, you know why I was arguing with my mum and dad the other day?" She asked, trying to form some sort of conversation.

"Huh?" Harry looked up and blinked rapidly.

"Yea, they thought my boyfriend wasn't good enough for me." Ginny sighed heavily, "Can you believe that . . . Harry?!" Ginny appeared offended as Harry's eyes drifted toward the teacher's table. "Harry?!"

Harry jumped slightly, "What, Ginny?"

"I was talking!" Ginny snapped with a frown.

"You were?" Harry seemed confused and then his eyes widened, "Oh yea . . . What was it about?"

Ginny sighed, "Never mind."

Harry nodded and turned to stare at Sara sitting at the table. She ate her food quietly as a few of the teachers seemed to be cautious of Sara. Snape, of course, was giving Sara a dirty eye and Harry rolled his eyes. Why couldn't he just give it up? He was never going to receive that position.

Angelina suddenly walked up behind Harry and Ron, "Harry, Ron!"

Both Ron and Harry jumped right out of their chairs, as neither was paying much attention. "Yes?" They replied in unison.

"Quidditch practice is tomorrow. Four in the morning. I want you all there!" Angelina added at Ron and Harry's surprised eyes. "Yes, it's early, but we need the practice. Already we're late into the practices."

Ron blushed suddenly, "Are you sure you want me back?"

"What are you talking about, Ron?" Angelina frowned and before Ron could open her mouth, she said, "Just show up. You're on the team, Ron!" Angelina marched off.

"She must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed." Harry said with a grin.

Ron laughed and Hermione rolled her eyes, "She's just stressed because the practices are always canceled due to silly stuff."

Harry glared at her, "Giants attacking a train is silly?! Everyone could have been killed! And last year, was it my fault that they got canceled! I couldn't help it if that crazy witch Umbridge wanted to rip apart my hands in detention!"

Hermione shut-up and Ron patted her on the back, "It's alright. Harry, she didn't mean it."

Harry stood up and walked off, feeling rather flushed and angry. Hermione stared after him feeling hurt, "I didn't mean it, Ron."

Ron stood quickly and ran off after Harry. He wasn't going to let him yell at them all this year like he did last year. "Harry!" He reached Harry and grabbed him by the shoulder, spinning him around. Harry's eyes widened, but then lowered as he stared at Ron.

"What?!" Harry hissed.

"Look, quit your overreacting and stop that bloody yelling of yours! We're sick of it. We haven't done anything wrong and all you do if snap at us! So stop!" Ron growled at him.

Harry looked at Ron blankly. He couldn't take this. He didn't want this. He would rather crawl in a corner and rot. All he wanted was for Sirius to be back. Nothing more . . . He would give anything.

"HARRY!" Ron yelled sharply, "Are you even listening?"

"Um . . . What?" Harry said.

Ron's eyes lowered, "At least I listen when you yell at me! You know, if you're going to just keep that attitude. Maybe it would be better if you weren't here!" Ron yelled loudly at him just as Hermione walked out of the cafeteria. Hermione gasped and Harry stood stock still, his whole body going numb. This was his best friend and even he wanted Harry to disappear.

"You know what? Fine then!" Harry growled and turned on his heel, marching away.

Hermione ran over to Ron, "Ron! Why did you say that?!" Hermione's eyes almost filled with tears.

Ron bit his lip, "I don't . . . well, know."

Hermione watched as Harry disappeared behind the corner, "I'm going after him. He's going to do something stupid and I'm not going to let him." Hermione rushed off after Harry and Ron turned to see Ginny staring blankly at him.

"Ron, I know how hard it is, but please try not to yell at him." Ginny said solemnly.

Ron only grew more angry, "So, it's all my fault?!"

"No, Ron. You have reason to be angry, but I'm just worried about Harry." Ginny frowned and tilted her head, thinking.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked. "Well, I know it's hard, but why are you so worried?"

"I just have a feeling. He's not doing alright. I mean . . . first his parents and then Sirius. It must be really hard." Ginny turned to the clock as it chimed, "I have to go. Class is starting." Ginny walked away and looped her arm with a boy's arm as he greeted her.

Ron's mouth remained agape. Harry wouldn't do anything that drastic, would he? He wouldn't actually think Ron wanted him to leave? Ron's eyes widened and he took off down the corridor, trying desperately to find Hermione and Harry.

Hermione found Harry sitting in one of the plushy chairs in front of the fireplace. "Harry?"

"Yea?" Harry said quietly.

Hermione kneeled down to meet Harry's eyes, "Look, he didn't mean it, Harry. He was just stressed, alright. You're okay, right?"

Harry sighed, but nodded slowly, "Yea, I'm just bloody peachy."

Hermione appeared distressed, "Harry, don't say that. Come on, we need to get to class, please?"

Harry rolled his eyes, but stood up, "I guess . . ." Before he could finish, Ron burst through the commons door.

"Harry! I didn't mean it!" Ron seemed frantic and the words stumbled out rapidly. "I'm sorry! I don't want you to leave! I was just angry!"

Harry's eyebrows lowered, "Look, it's alright. Why are you so worked up?"

Ron blinked and looked from Hermione and Harry. He then blushed and rubbed his head, "Oh, nothing."

"Well, let's go before we're late." Harry said.

"Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts!" Sara smiled brightly in front of the classroom and the whole class was puzzled at how young she was. "I shall be your next Defense teacher. I know you've had some odd teachers in the past, but I plan to attempt to stay as long as I can." She laughed and stopped shortly as she saw the confused looks. She sighed, "I may be young, but I am still an auror and as I've heard, a pretty good one. So, I want the same respect you give every other teacher around here."

Ron smirked at Harry, "So, we sleep?" Harry shook his head, trying not to smile while avoiding Hermione's dark glances.

"So, for the first class I would like to review what you have learned last year. Would anyone like to share the one defense that will surely ward off Pogrebin?"

Even Hermione appeared stumped. Sara stared blankly around the class as no ones hand raised, "Um . . . Anyone can answer. You can just shout it out if you like." Sara began to grow jittery and her heart raced at the thought that maybe these kids would not listen to her when Harry raised his hand.

Sara smiled widely, "Yes, Harry!"

Harry dropped his hand and every eye turned to him. "Just simple hexes or a simple stupefying charm. But Miss Pariah, we didn't learn last year's curriculum. We had Umbridge teach."

Sara's eyes grew dark, "Umbridge, eh? That witch taught you sweet lads. You poor dears!" The class smiled and seemed to warm up more toward Sara. "She wouldn't know how to teach if she was hit in the head with a teaching guide!" The class laughed and Sara shook her head, "Ok, no more. Now, we're just going to have to do a crash course! We can get it done. We shall start with Vampires. Everyone, wands out and books out!"

The entire class was perfect. Sara taught how to shrink fangs, the places to burn a Vampire, and everything to know. Everyone listened intently and seemed awed by what she had to say. Harry couldn't get over the fact of how beautiful she was and he felt himself blush every time she looked his way.

Ron noticed after awhile and grinned, "Harry, she's pretty, but she's an auror."

Harry blushed even more after that and Hermione shook her head with a sparkle in her eyes.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron headed down to Care of Magical Creatures after their Defense class and Harry was feeling cheerful until he saw who was standing in front of Hagrid's hut. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. Harry had managed to stay away from them since he had gotten to Hogwarts, but now he'd have to face the morons.

"Forgot we had doubles." Ron muttered, looking weary.

Malfoy grinned as Harry approached, "Potter, I can't even believe you showed up this year. Now that Voldemort's back. I expected you to be cowering in a corner. Then again, you could always go to the Weasley's. It's small enough."

Ron gritted his teeth and Harry growled, "Shut-up Malfoy! Soon enough your dad will be behind bars. I wouldn't be worried about me."

Malfoy spat on the ground, "I don't think so, Potter." He spat out the name and suddenly a playful laugh erupted from his lips, "Well, I would rather have a father than none at all, wouldn't you?"

Harry's fists clenched and before he could pounce on Malfoy, Ron and Hermione grabbed him. They were both used to this by now.

Hagrid suddenly stepped out from his hut, "'ey, what's goin' on?" Harry stopped and his friends let him go. Malfoy turned to Hagrid and glanced upwards, "I can't believe they're letting a giant teach here after what happened!"

Harry growled lowly as Hagrid turned beat red, "That's none of yer business. Naw, come on! Over 'ere."

The class followed Hagrid a little ways into the Forbidden Forest to a swampy clearing nearby. The Slytherins following Hagrid with less enthusiasm than the Gryffindors. Mouths fell open as they all saw what was floating in the water. Hideous looking horses with long fangs for teeth and bulrushes for its mane swam through the swamp, seeming annoyed with the bridles around their necks.

Hagrid beamed at all of the amazed faces, "Can any of yeh tell me wha' these are?"

Hermione's hand shot up into the air as usual and Hagrid pointed at her, "They're Kelpies. A British and Irish water demon the can take various shapes, though it usually appears as a horse."

Hagrid smiled, "Yeh, it's a Kelpie a'right. These creatures ar' amazing. They 're rendered docile and unthreatin' if yeh only use a Placement Charm tah ring a bridle arou' its neck." . . . . .

Harry arrived in his dorm after dinner, falling onto his bed with a flop. Ron and Hermione went off with Ginny and Neville down to the lake. Harry had chosen to stay behind which caused Hermione to only worry. Harry had to admit though, he hadn't remembered how tiring classes could be. His eyes slowly shut as he yawned and he felt himself drift into a dark sleep.

_Once he is dead no one can stop me. The world will tremble under my very hand. A dark laugh erupted out of no where. This will be easy. No one can stop me once I KILL HIM! Let the blood run through your hands. Kill him, now!!!!_

Harry groaned and lifted himself from his bed. The night sky shinned through the window and he stood. Without his knowledge, Harry conjured up a knife from the air and it rested in his hand. He moved swiftly through the dorm and out the portrait. As he headed down the corridor, Harry had no idea what he was doing, why he had the knife, or where he was. He only knew one thing. The urge to kill was stronger than his reason.

Author's Note: humming well, I felt like leaving you off there, so I did. Mwhaha, evil laugh, I know. I'm so bad. I don't know when I'll be on next. But my birthday is this Saturday, july 31st, I'm pretty happy I'm going to be 15, yea I know it seems young, but I'm going to be a sophomore this year haha well I want to go to bed its 2 in the morning. Listen, don't live like me. I stay up too late on computer and playing video games. Sometimes when I stand up I black out, so just be careful, alright. Don't deprive yourself of sleep. LOL, buh bye and good night. Disney was awesome! Peter Pan was fucking hot stuff!


	7. Losing Grip

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter!! None of these characters are mine except for the new ones I have created. Please do not sue!

Author's Notes: Hey, yea I know I left all of my readers at a bad spot, -punishes self-, well, okay. I hope you really like this chapter, it's going to be an exciting one. Please enjoy. I have nothing more to say. Not having a great day -bleh- really deathly bored, makes one do crazy things.

Losing Grip:

_Harry moved forward as his body seemed to know exactly what he needed to do. Dark thoughts rang through Harry's head and he tried to block them out, but some were inviting. But he had the feeling they were not his own. And before he knew it he was stopped outside the huge gargoyle statue._

'OPEN IT!' A voice hissed through his head.

Harry frowned. That was definitely not his thought. He knew it.

'Did I ask for your opinion. OPEN IT, NOW! Think of what he's done to you! He lied to you! He's the reason Sirius is dead!'

Harry felt a sharp pain explode through him. "No, it wasn't his fault." Harry cringed as a boiling hot sensation filled his body from anger and confusion.

'You don't understand! He did! He said so himself! Remember? He kept him shut away in that awful house. How he hated it!'

Harry felt a surge of blinding anger rise in him. It WAS his fault. If he'd only . . . But no! "I can't . . ." Immense pain filled his entire body and he collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily. He could hear voices surround his head and images began to flash in front of his vision. Sirius as a dog. Sirius trying to cheer him up. Sirius's face in the fireplace. Sirius falling . . . The graceful arc his body sank backwards into as he fell. The mingled fear and surprise on the wasted, once-handsome face of his godfather. Harry saw all of it as if in a terrifying movie.

"NO DAMMIT! STOP IT!" Harry screamed loudly. He slammed his fist on the ground and felt hot tears sting his eyes. 'I didn't ask. Now, do it!' A strong force engulfed his body and mind. Harry couldn't find his reason anymore and the dark voice poisoned his mind. His body jolted up from the floor and he stood in front of the gargoyle again. An evil laugh filled him and he grinned.

"Password."

'Lemon-flavored Lollipops.' The gargoyle slowly disappeared to reveal stairs. A smile spread over Harry's lips and he ran up the stairs and entered the dark room. 'What?! He's not here!' Harry let a hiss escape his lips and he lashed out at Dumbledore's desk, knocking thousands of things off the desk. Pictures all around him began to rise with sleepy yawns at all the commotion.

"Hey, wha-?!" Before the first painting could speak a word, Harry ripped the knife across the whole row of paintings, sending their owners screaming away. 

The door suddenly opened behind and light filled the black room, "Harry!" Harry spun around and found himself face to face with Dumbledore. Harry grinned, but before he could even move Dumblefore raised his wand, "Stupefy!" Harry flew backwards and hit the wall, falling to the ground with a groan and the knife skittering off to the side. He felt his eyes begin to shut and his head clearing as a hand reached out for him.

"Harry, come on. Here, stand up." Dumbledore took Harry's hand and helped him up. Harry's head hurt and he moaned, feeling sickness wash through him.

Harry looked around and blinked rapidly, "What happened . . . ?"

Dumbledore sighed heavily and fell into his chair, sliding his wand away. "Harry . . . I don't know what's really going on, but it's what happened last year. It's happening again because you did not master the Occlumency and it's getting worse. I thought it might stop, but it hasn't."

Harry felt guilt rise in him as he looked around. The office was trashed. What had he done? Why couldn't he remember anything? Before he could at least remember.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, feeling even worse by the minute. He felt like plunging over a cliff onto jagged rocks.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, but we need to get that Occlumency mastered." Dumbledore looked away and Harry saw that Fawkes was missing.

"Fawkes?" Harry said, his attention wavering.

"Ah, yes. Fawkes is out doing something special for me at the moment, but please don't change the subject." Dumbledore frowned and folded his thin hands underneath his chin, resting his head on them, "Well, Snape was not working out with you so I shall try . . ." Dumbledore quickly stood up, "How do you feel if I let Sara help you?"

Harry could feel his face almost turn beat red. He would feel great. Anything is better than Snape. And Sara . . . she amazed Harry. She was beautiful and smart and . . . she reminded him of someone that he still could not place his finger on. "That would be fine." Harry mumbled out.

Dumbledore seemed to be thinking about it deeply, "I would do it myself, but I'm terribly busy. I just don't want this to be a mistake. Harry, you have to promise me that you'll try your hardest."

Harry nodded, "I . . . I promise."

Dumbledore nodded and looked weary, his eyes seemed so tired. "Well, I'll escort you back to your dormitory.

Author's Note: Wow, this is my shortest chapter…I'm sorry, I had a writer's block. Don't kill me, and I was camping haha. Oh yea, school is coming up soon, so my updates won't be a frequent (but hopefully they will still) but yea, I have two honors classes and it's hell being in high school. So, well, hope you enjoyed the chapter . Oh yea, I think next chapter is on quidditch .


	8. The Disappointing Match

Author's Note: Hem hem, okie, I've been putting this off, so here it is. Promised some people I'd write another chapter dammit. Promises….I hate you! Hehe Getting around one in the morning here, bored out of my freakin' mind though. People are talking stupid shit so its boring. Where are all the interesting people. JK. Well, whatever. Here you go my readers who are really awesome because you're reading my stuff. I should give you all a reward. hands you shiny gold cup TA-DA!

The Disappointing Match:

Harry watched Ron as he ate his breakfast. Ron seemed so nervous about the game which he really shouldn't be. It wasn't as if they were playing against Slytherin today. Hermione could tell Ron was jittery too. The way his spoon kept shaking couldn't be a sign that he was happy about the game.

"Ron, you'll be fine." Hermione said, trying to sound cheerful.

Harry stared down at his toast and orange juice. He hadn't told his friends about what happened the night before. Didn't want too. They might look at him differently like some of the teachers. Harry knew that the teachers knew that Voldemort could control him and some of them seemed to be avoiding talking with him as much as possible. They all seemed scared of him and it was making Harry feel even worse about himself. Harry sighed and dropped his half-eaten toast to notice Hermione staring at him.

"Are you alright Harry?" She asked sweetly.

"Er . . . Yea." Harry lied pathetically. Hermine eyed him suspiciously, but turned back to cheering Ron up.

Harry peered around the hall and saw Cho standing at her table, her friends giggling over some silly joke she made. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were going against each other today and Harry had every intention of smashing their faces in the mud, or just Cho's. He smiled and finished his toast.

Ron was seeming a tad more cheerful and he turned to Harry, "You think you're going to be able to win with Cho on their team still?"

Harry wanted to laugh, but he restrained himself, "Yea, perfectly fine."

Ron frowned, "Alright."

Harry watched Angelina yell through the crisp noon air the team's game plan. Ron sat nervously on the edge of the bench and Angelina turned to him.

"Ron! Don't worry about it. You'll be fine if you believe you can do it. We're not even facing Slytherin. Oh yes, for all of the new faces on the team this year. Make us proud!" Angelina spun on her heel and headed out toward the field.

Harry scanned all of the new faces. There were quite a few actually. Ginny was now one of the new beaters and she was very proud of her spot. The other new beater was a third year by the name of John Thorn. He was a lively boy with too much energy, beating happened to be a great way of expressing his excitement. The two new chasers weretwins in their second year by the names of Lin and Phen. Lin and Phen were amazing tricksters, probably trying to take after George and Fred like so many others in the school now. The team wasn't the same though without Fred and George. Harry wondered if anyone else felt it too, but he supposed the new twins were helping a little to fill the silence.

"Harry!" Ginny screamed.

Harry jumped, "Huh . . . What?!"

Ginny tapped her foot impatiently, "It's time to head out. Come on." Harry noticed of late that Ginny seemed to be worrying the most about him. She seemed more mature too. It was kind of annoying in a way to have her constantly watching him to see if he was spacing out.

Harry stood up and grabbed his broom, the one thing that he would always hold dear. The gift Sirius gave to him. He gripped it tightly and walked onto the field next to Ron. Hermione, Luna, Neville, and Hagrid could be seen from miles away. Hagrid being his huge self and Luna in another giant, roaring lion's hat. Hermione waved down at Harry and Neville seemed to be sneezing loads.

Madam Hooch began to walk out into the center of the field. Angelina held her head high and went out to meet the Ravenclaw's new captain, Bert Raven. Bert smirked at Angelina as she stalked out and they met hands readily for combat.

Soon Harry was up in the air, the crowd cheering and Lee Jordan commenting louder than ever. Lee was in his last year at Hogwarts and was bringing hell to it in place of George and Fred too. It was quite warming really.

Harry zoomed high above the field and other players, searching frantically for the snitch. Ron was playing keeper well and had already caught two quaffles. Nothing too exciting was happening. Though Harry saw that Cho kept looking over at him, but Harry refused to even eye her.

Suddenly, Harry felt a sharp chill fill the warm sunny air. He completely stopped his broom in the air. "What was that?" Harry whispered. Shivers skittered across his skin and he drew out a long breath that seemed to freeze in the air. And Harry instantly knew what was coming.

Lee's voice rang through the air, "PHEN HAS THE QUAFFLE AN-!! WHAT'S THAT?!" Harry dived down sharply toward the ground and heard screams rip through the air. That's when he saw hundreds of black, tall cloaked figures loom onto the field. He knew it and Harry instantly saw Dumbledore looking straight at him. Students ran to the highest points of the stands and shoved their way to it. Flyers in the air instantly shot into the air and rose in the sky as the Dementors stormed the field. Harry on the other hand winced and felt a hand grab his arm.

Ron pulled him upwards, "C'mon Harry!"

Harry tugged downward, resisting Ron's pull, "I have to help!"

"No Harry!" Ron snapped.

Harry glared up at Ron from his broom, Ron's hand locked around Harry's arm tightly, "Then I guess you're just going to have to come with me!" Harry yanked down hard and raced toward the ground, dragging Ron behind him. "HARRY!!!" Ron yelled the whole way down.

Dumbledore suddenly appeared in front of Harry as he reached the ground, "Harry, leave! They're after you."

Harry frowned for he didn't care. If they were here for him then he was going to help. Ron's arm tightened suddenly, "HARRY! Listen to Dumbledore! Come on!"

Harry spun around and faced Ron,. "No! I'll do what I bloody want!" He snapped at Ron as Dumbledore disappeared in front of them, the teachers swarming down upon the Dementors.

Ron grew angry, "Yea well I'm sick of your attitude!" With all his strength he flung Harry over to the stands where Hermione grabbed Harry in a tight embrace. Harry tried to escape, but Neville and Luna grabbed hold of his arms too. Ron stomped in front of Harry and Harry glared at him.

"WHAT?!" Harry spat.

Ron frowned, "You're not going to be playing hero. Dumbledore wants us to keep you away from them. They can handle them without you!"

Before Harry could protest his mouth dropped open, "Ron, watch out!" Ron turned but was too late, a cold hand grabbed his arm and continued to drag him away.

Hermione's arms let go as she shrieked and Harry whipped his wand from his pocket. Happy thoughts. Harry scanned his brain, but he couldn't find anything. As the Dementor slowly yanked Ron away Harry panicked. Happy dammit! he hissed at his brain. "Sirius!" Harry said loudly and then grinned, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Three other voices rang out behind Harry. Three huge patronus's exploded through the air and the Dementor let out a shriek of terror, disappearing and dropping Ron. Harry watched as Hermione and Neville smiled with their wands held high in their hands. Smiling too, Harry saw the other patronus maker behind them. "Sara?!" Harry said excitedly.

Sara grinned and hopped down from the stands, "Thought I would let you do it yourself, aye Harry?"

Harry shook his head and Sara ran over to Ron who looked very white. "You alright?" Ron nodded and Sara reached into her pockets and pulled out a slab of chocolate, "Eat up!"

Ron starred at her blankly, "Ya wouldn't happen to be Lupin in disguise, would ya?"

Sara smiled and then walked past Ron, her face appearing dead serious. Her wand flew in all directions at the Dementors and Harry's mouth dropped open as the Dementors flew away with screeches.

Dumbledore appeared at Sara's side with Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick. Five patronus's soared through the sky at the remaining Dementors left on the field. And a dark silence filled the Quidditch field.

Dumbledore spun sharply on his heel and faced Harry, "I need you to come with me Harry." He faced the teachers, "Get the children to their dorms and let no one out. We have to secure the area." He flicked his robes and grabbed Harry's arm, pulling him off the field. His friends stared after him with worried eyes. Harry knew Dumbledore was angry; he could see it in his eyes. But instead of taking Harry to the office he stopped right inside the Gryffindor's locker room.

Dumbledore dropped Harry's arm and his eyes turned away from him, "Harry, you're being very unwise and I know you know that. May I ask why you wish to throw yourself into danger?"

Harry frowned, "I am not!"

"Yes you are." Dumbledore pocketed his wand which he had kept out, "I need you to be careful and you chose to try and stop Dementors. Is that not unwise?"

Harry's face contorted with anger, "They were after me. I should at least help. I can handle them!"

Dumbledore's eyebrows raised, "Just because you can create a patronus does not mean you can handle them."

Harry remained silent. Speaking would not get him anywhere and he knew it. As a matter of fact he was entirely sick of even talking to Dumbledore and listening to his calm voice all of the time.

Dumbledore sighed, "Quidditch is going to have to be canceled." Harry's eyes flew open, but Dumbledore continued, "I cannot risk this happening again. Quidditch is too easy to exploit and especially if you refuse to listen. You may leave."

Harry felt more angry than he could imagine. With a dirty glare at Dumbledore Harry stomped off and ran through the hallways of the school to the Fat Lady's portrait.

Harry sat up in his bed as the night grew darker. Pain overwhelmed him inside. Everything was slowly disappearing in his life and now Quidditch. And he knew that if anyone else knew it was partially his fault that Quidditch was canceled, he would have nothing left. Everyone would hate him. Everyone probably should hate him. He was destroying everyone's life here. He didn't deserve his friends who were so kind and he didn't deserve being anyone's idol. He hated it all.

He wanted to die. Just fall away into nothingness. For he was nothing. No one should even have to know who he is. This was his lowest point in life and he felt it.

Harry stared blankly at the knife in his hand again. He knew he shouldn't do it, but the thin scar from the last cut seemed to egg him on. It had felt so good. Nothing seemed to matter when he did it. It was like a sedative drug. A powerful and wonderful drug to be rid of everything for a few moments. And so he did it. He ripped the knife across his skin, blood splattering out. He did it again and again until his wrist was severely slashed, but what amazed him was that it didn't hurt. So he figured that he could handle any pain now. Nothing could hurt him now. He might as well be dead, but he knew that he couldn't die and leave his friends here. It was the thing that was keeping him alive. His friends.

Harry watched the blood splash over his arm and drop to his bed, soaking into the white sheets. A dark puddle of crimson blood formed and Harry felt dizzy. His eyes filmed over and he swallowed. Harry quickly wrapped the sheet around his arm and pressed on his arm until the blood stopped flowing. Dropping the sheet he stared at the giant blood stain and he raised his wand, "Dispendid." The blood slowly began to disappear until it was gone. Nothing remained on the sheet and Harry laughed to himself. This was so easy. Harry fell back on his pillows and let his eyelids slide shut.

Author's Note: Yep, it's finished. It isn't really what I planned for the chapter, but I had to hurry up and write it. So it's really rushed. I'm sorry. It's sloppy. AH! Oh well, you can hit me if you want for my crappy writing. It's like 3 in the morning and I'm dead tired. So, good night.


	9. Liar Liar

1Disclaimers: Ok, forgot my disclaimer for last chapter, so, this is the disclaimer for all chapters in this story so I do not have to keep putting them on here. I do not own Harry Potter or any of the Harry Potter characters. Now, DON'T SUE!

Author's Note: Okie, WEEEEE! crashes into wall swah, fights off ninjas with giant sword. Ok, sorry, I've lost my mind. I'm actually writing this in the late afternoon!! Yea, I know. WOW! It's not frickin 3 in the morning. LOL Aren't you proud? Well, it's on a different comp though haha. Okie, here's your damn chapter. BYE!

Liar Liar:

Harry walked down the hallway of the school after potions. Of course potions had been as horrible as ever. Especially now that Snape hated him even more than last year. Snape had pretty much tortured Harry the whole class period and he had received many laughs from the Slytherins.

And the reason he was not walking with Hermione and Ron was that they had to run off and chase after a trouble-making third year. So, here Harry was. All alone once again. He sighed distressingly and walked into the Great Hall, sitting down to eat.

As he went to grab the bowl of pudding,, Ginny grabbed his arm and he cringed as her hand clasped around his cuts beneath his sleeve.

"Hey!" Ginny said cheerfully, dropping his arm. Harry flinched slightly and Ginny cocked her head, "You okay?"

Harry instantly smiled, trying to hide his gloominess, and nodded, "Yea, just fine." Harry stood up, "I was just leaving though."

As Harry turned to leave Ginny frowned, "But I just saw you sit down! I want to talk to someone and no one is here except you."

Harry clenched his teeth as aggravation washed over him, "Yea, well, I just remembered that I had to grab something out of my trunk before class. So, I have to go." Harry moved to leave again, but Ginny took hold of his bad arm and he bit his lip to quit himself from cringing again.

Ginny seemed angry suddenly, "Why don't you quit lying already? Everyone knows that you've been lying and we're sick of it. Why don't you just say what's on your mind?"

Harry's eyebrows lowered and he frowned, "Why don't you just leave me alone, eh? I mean, who asked for your opinion?" Harry wrenched his arm free from her grasp and stalked off.

"Harry!" Ginny shouted, only to have people look her way. She hissed under her breath and ran after him. She didn't care if he wanted to be left alone because he was her and her brother's friend. That meant that she would provide one of her ultra friend worries, even if she had to strap him to a chair. No matter how wrong that sounded.

Ginny caught up quickly to Harry and she grabbed his arm, yanking him back toward her. He let out a yelp and Ginny turned him around to face her. "I wasn't done talking to you!"

Harry glared at her and crossed his arms, "So . . . ? I was done talking to you."

Ginny felt ready to scream, "Why won't you just hear me out?!"

Harry spun around, but Ginny latched out again for his arm, but then boom! She tripped over her own feet and fell hard on the ground. Ginny groaned and Harry instantly stuck out his hand to help her, "You okay?"

Ginny winced and grabbed his hand, "I think so . . ." She looked at Harry's arm and her breath caught in her throat. "Harry . . . what . . . ?"

Harry's eyes widened and he ripped his hand away from hers. He was so stupid. She had definitely seen them, there was no doubt about it. Why didn't he see it coming? Of course his sleeve would rise if he reached for something. So stupid!

Harry eyes watched her expression and he wasn't sure he liked it. She was looking really freaked out and shocked and probably a hundred other things at once. And one of them was not happy or ecstatic.

"Har . . . what . . . are those . . . ?" Ginny's voice grew quiet and she couldn't seem to find any words.

Harry felt panicky. His heart was racing and he had no clue what to tell her. Of all the people to find out it had to be Ginny!

Ginny stood up suddenly and her eyes seemed on fire, "What are those?!"

Harry backed away from her and his eyes moved from her face to the floor, "I . . ."

Ginny looked ready to cry, "Please, don't you dare say you did that to yourself, Harry."

Harry stared at her, trying to find something . . . anything to say. "I won't then."

"Harry . . . Why?" Ginny whispered.

Harry turned away from her, "It's none of your bloody business. I have to go."

Ginny stared after him. She didn't chase after him and she could barely breathe. Why would he do that? He must know it's wrong. Was he that depressed? Is that what he did all summer long? Ginny grabbed her head and shut her eyes, stopping tears from falling.

"Ginny?" The familiar sound of her brother rang through her ears.

Ginny spun around and ripped her eyes open, "Ron?"

Ron frowned, "Um . . . why are you just standing there?"

"I was just . . . I was talking to Harry and he just left." Ginny couldn't decide whether or not to tell Ron. She watched as Hermione came running up behind Ron.

"That little kid! I can't believe people are still trying to pull a Fred and George!" Hermione paused as she stared from Ron to Ginny, "What's going on?"

Ron shrugged, "I dunno. We just missed Harry."

"Ooh, I have to talk to him about something." Hermione piped in with a smile.

Ginny nodded, "Er . . . yea."

Ron stared confusedly at Ginny, "Did something happen?"

Ginny stared at her hands and pulled at a string on his sweater, "You will have to ask Harry. I don't think I should say anything." With those last words Ginny walked away.

Ron shrugged and Hermione frowned, "I wonder what that was about. What do you think?"

Ron sighed heavily, "Probably nothing. He probably got mad at her or something. I mean, he's been getting mad at everyone lately, right?"

Hermione looked distressed, "You know . . . I don't know, Ron. I'm really worried about him . . ."

Ron nodded, ruffling his red hair, "You don't think . . . You don't reckon he'd do anything really stupid eh?"

Hermione raised her eyebrows, "I wouldn't be surprised if he did."

Harry stormed out the doors of the school and onto the grounds. The sunny sky beamed down upon him and birds chirped throughout the air. The day was a perfect sunny day and everyone looked so happy. Harry rolled his eyes and plopped down on a soft patch of grass near the water. He tossed a stone into the water and watched it skim lightly across the water.

A shadow fell over him and he looked up, "Sara?"

Sara smiled, his hair whipping in the soft wind, "Hello Harry!" She sat down next to him, "Aren't people supposed to hang out with their friends when they're not busy with school and not alone?"

Harry shrugged, "I suppose. What about you?"

Sara looked sad for a moment, "I don't really hang around too many people my age. They're usually older . . . and a lot more boring."

Harry grinned and laughed, "Is being an Auror _that_ boring?"

Sara smiled slightly, "No, it's actually quite fun, I'm the youngest person and I hardly have time to do much else." Sara laughed, "Though, I can not imagine your life being that boring from what I have heard."

"I suppose." Harry looked away and felt a sharp pain inside him. "It's just loads of fun." Harry said sarcastically.

Sara sighed, "You seem so enthusiastic about it." Sara dug into her pocket and held out a Muggle penny, "A penny for your thoughts?"

Harry couldn't help but laugh, "I don't think so."

Sara laughed, "Fine then, don't tell me, but it's not too good to pent up all that anger and let it out at once. I heard you can implode from that."

"What? Liar." Harry said, feeling himself cheer up quite a bit.

"It's true. There was once a man in England who was always pissed off and he had no one to share his feelings with. Then one day he totally chewed out this lady at a grocery store. And poof! He disappeared. Rather tragic actually." Sara bit her lip, "I wouldn't want to live like him."

Harry couldn't stop laughing,, "Why would he implode?"

Sara shrugged, "It's true. I know these things."

Harry nodded and cocked his head sideways, "Alright, but I'm fine, honestly."

Sara shook her head, but didn't say anymore about it. "You know, Hogwarts is a really amazing school. So many people know how to create a patronus already. I wonder how they all learned it so quickly. I was looking forward to teaching you all something fresh and new. You wouldn't happen to know who taught them, do you?" Sara faced Harry and smirked.

Harry blushed bright red and shook his head, "None at all."

"Whatever," Sara stood up and brushed of her pants, "Harry, may I ask you something?"

Harry nodded, "Sure."

"You agree that it's hot outside, right?" Sara asked.

Harry frowned, "Er . . . yes?"

Sara straightened up from brushing off her pants and stared at the bright sky, "Then, why do you wear long sleeves instead of short?"

"What?" Harry thought it was the weirdest question.

"You know, why don't you wear short sleeves. It is terrible weather for long ones." Sara sounded serious.

Harry shrugged, "Er . . . I don't know. I prefer long sleeves is all it is."

Sara nodded slowly and sighed, "You know, another man who also lived in England lied his whole life to people, but he was miserable. One day he spoke the truth and told the Queen that she was mean to her subjects. Which she was. And you know what she did?" Harry shook his head and was rather flustered by the question. Sara continued, "She cut off his tongue so he could speak no more, but you know what?"

"What?" Harry said, feeling even worse.

"He was a whole hell of a lot happier with his life." Sara met eyes with Harry, "You shouldn't lie either."

Sara twirled around and walked off, her cloak swishing behind her. Harry's mouth fell open and he couldn't help himself from tugging his sleeve further over his cuts.

Author's Note: Hello, I hoped you like my chapter, but I have to get off now so I cannot write anymore. Haha, I love Sara. Yea, I know I created her, but when I create most of my characters, I create them because I love them. You know what else I noticed besides me forgetting the disclaimer? I don't put these before the second author's note: %%%%%%%%%% hahah, I loved those. Oh well. I'm a really forgetful person. I might write another chapter later tonight, so don't worry, it shall be soon. And please get all your friends to read my story here too. I like reviews haha. Good bye!


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